Accountability & Growth Activities

Exploration in realation to working through complex problems resolution

Explore what is IS REALLY that pulls you toward it. Look for an emotion underlying the process/experience. Look for that one emotion that makes your heart jump in your chest. 

Exploration in relation to Resistance

Explore to which part of you the following thoughts/ beliefs belong to:
"who do you think you are?"
"it's silly, be smaller"
And the connected feelings of anxiety "even if I find it, what if I fail?" and fear.

Exploration in relation to "Life is overwhemling" belief

Explore which part of you believes that "Like is overwhelming. This is too much. I cannot deal with it".
It helps to focus on a specific even in which you felt like this. Focus and reconnect to that emotion. Then proceed with the exercise in the PDF.

Exploration in relation to Defects

Explore which part of you feels the need to explore all your defects 🙂
Simply internally ask. Or follow the PDF exercise.

Exploration in relation to Intense sadness

Explore the part of you feeling sadness. Connect with that little girl and provide love, comfort and hugs.

Journaling 

Journal/exolore the part of you wondering "is THIS all that I want? Should I want MORE? Bigger?".

Exploration related to feeling JOY! 

Explore which part believes that Joy doesn't matter. The part who feels that all that matters are things that "increase your chances of survival".

Exploration related to Movement

Explore which part believes the following sentences (same as exercise above):
"I cannot do it on my own"
"I'm not consistent enough to do these things" vs "I AM consistent, but on the wrong things".

Exploration in relation to what matters to you

Explore the part of you feeling fear of judgement in relation to others. Start by asking yourself "where do I feel this fear the most?". And continue with the questions in the template below.

Exploration in relation to Acceptance of past mistakes 

Explore which part of your feels the weight of regrets and mistakes of the past.

Activity and Voxer Vale

#1 - Watch the recording and create your own Matrix.

#2 - Send me an audio message with your observations and questions. 

Notes

Exploration of the part who wants to drink: meeting Alo, the weird looking musician with a weird hat and long hair.

- Job: make me feel on and calm and in control, grounded
- Purpose: not to live stuck in my head and distant and disconnected. Want to experience aliveness, beauty, celebration, connection.
- started needing alchool to cope around 34, while before he was helping in a different way, by pursuing adventure. He really like control and to be adventouroud he needs to be alone.
- Alternatives to alchool: Interesting work, movement, exercise, and dancing. Even though alchool is so reliable, he is surprised to see all the negative side effects of it. He is on board in trying a different solution.

Accountability

- Re/introduce exercise/movement/dancing into your daily routine

- Call Alo to participate when you do the activity

Notes

- I saw my heart, a green emerald buried in layers of guilt and responsibility.
- New Part named Evil: drives the food cravings
- Job: wants to protect from the outside, and wants to be in the safety of home
- Purpose: when we are home, we can be ourselves. Eating trash food breaks the rules of the family around having to be a certain way and being perfect.
- Would love to retire and relax more
- Connected to 8-9yo inner child - she needs to give up things she IS in order to fit the family and societal rules of being a girl. "A lady doesn't do that". Rules that apply only to her, and not her brothers. "It's unfair, it's a curse".
- Feels happiness and relief in seeing adult Carmen didn't adhere to the rules! "Don't change, you already did it all"
- Evil turned into a benevolent presence protecting the child. Wants to be able to relax.

Accountability

- Keep nurturing the inner child

- Soothe Evil and honor the agreement: "you can take care of yourself". 

Connect and nurture the inner child

Observe or journal on how you feel before and after the practice.

Notes

Exploration of the part that wants to numb through binge-watching - Pulsing Energy

- Feeling it all over the place, tight in the chest, strongest in the stomach (clenched).
- Often the outcome of an internal fight between several parts, fighting, yelling at each other
- Pulsing energy around the area of the heart
- Hiding somewhere in a dark corner, does not like to be seen, afraid of the other parts, afraid he would loose influence.
- Job: saves from those terrible fights, away from the other parts. Feels very lonely. Keeps me safe from chaos, from getting lost in all those contradicting things the others want. 
- Likes things that bring me into flow, and bring joy, but NEEDS the binge-watching to feel less alone, and to silence the other voices
- Connected to 5-6yo inner child, looks neutral, curious, open.
- Burden: family. Felt around chest, heavy to breathe.
- Ritual through wind.

Accountability

- Check back on the inner child and do the ritual again if needed

- Check back on Pulsing Energy to see if he can relax a bit

- If overwhelmed by yelling or fighting parts, go to your safe room and close them outside (if able, with a thankful attitude).

Notes

- Inner child (6-8yo) still recovering. Feeling at peace. He feels better than before, but still needing to continue healing and recovering.
- he needs to continue being with him, BY him.
- the nurturing through a rainboy flow or milk and honey feels very healing, and also attracts another female part "I need her".

Accountability

- Nurture the inner child daily with the flow of rainbow milk and honey

- Observe any changes in mood, and behaviors.

Notes

Exploring the resistance to self-work
- Feeling: tension and weakness. Body feels limb.
- Message "Stay away from this, you don't deserve to get better"
- This part is connected to several inner children of different ages.
- Job: to keep flaws hidden, to be accepted.
- Purpose: Make sure not to get negative attention (comments, judgements).
- Reframing: this part cares deeply about you, and is just scared out of its mind you might be in danger. It wants to keep you safe, away from risks.
- Image of 6yo, overwhelmed by messages
- Core message: "I don't want to be punished". Relieved it's not happening anymore.

Accountability

- Bring the 6yo into your safe room, and make sure it's empty (check corners and ceiling). If needed, invite parts out.
- Remember you can always tell the part she can feel anything she needs to, but to please not overwhelm you. You can take a bit of pain and suffering, and you can tell her how much.
- Sit next to her and nurture the 6yo with a flow of honey and milk. Ask what she needs. Provide that.

- Do it daily if possible.

Notes

Parts in scarcity: Mady, Alo, Alexia.
Mady needs attention the most, wants to take action on a difficult conversation. Alo and Alexa are a bit scared about it.
Alo is not getting enough stress relief and is missing the intensity of alchool. Agreed to allow drinking once every 6 weeks when going out to dance with friends, trusting that it's OK.
Alexia is feeling too much pressure in her role. She has expectations on how to feel during the day, and how productive to be. 

Accountability

- Take action on that difficult conversation

- Every day make a list of things that were done during the day: 1) celebrate them and 2) integrate them into your new identity

Notes

Parts in scarcity: rational me, teenager
The Rational me is angry, because she wants to be part of the healing. She protected me for so long, and now feels excluded, put aside. She would like to spend time with the other parts.
The other parts don't trust her, because she has been repressing them for a long time. She was not aware of it, she didn't realise or think about it...
The Rational part likes the idea of not being alone anymore, learning more healing tools and have some free time.
She commits to relax.

The Teenager part is sad because she is not feeling cared for. She needs to know that I am there.
She feels a pressure on her chest, and it's hard to breathe. After the ritual she feels more relieved. Even though she is scared of being around people, she would love to try.

Accountability

- Check on the Rational part and ensure she feels included and appreciated

- Check on the Teenager and show her that you are there for her.

On vacation

Traveling

Notes

Parts in scarcity: little boy, female light

The Female light needs more freedom, and would like to be trusted more. The Part in the head is scared though, he things a disaster will happen if he relaxes even a tiny bit. If he had some free time though, he would like to connect with the other parts.
The Female light meets the Part in the head 🙂
They observe each other with openness and compassion. The Part in the head feels warmer, and would like more light in his life. They want to meet more often. They are left together.

Accountability

- Check on the Female light and Part in the head. Are they still hanging out together? Does the Female light feel more free?

- Explore the scarcity coming from the Little boy.

Notes

Focusing on the Part that hides.
She is hiding below a rock. She hides from life, from everything in order to survive. She is 2yo. She doesn't like to hide, but that's all she knows. 
She needs someone she can trust.
The fog tried to protect, but agrees to step aside.
The Part tha hides allows to sit close to her. She feels a bit better. She doesn't like to be alone.
She accepts a Spark of light as a token of trust. 

Accountability

- Daily, come and sit close to the Part that hides. Be open to hear anything she might want to share.

Notes

Problem: Impostor Syndrome.
Felt under the ribs and in the stomach, a tightness.
New part - Protector: Old Awkward character.

Role: protect me from rejection doing something that puts me outside. Trying to make sure I don't risk to hurt other people.
Purpose: Contribute meaningfully to people's life. Making good decisions about that. Feel threatended by new ideas or new things.
The part feels this kind of work is hard and intense... many parts want to take risks... so not really enjoying its job.
Would lvoe to feel more relaxed.
Scared of ending up like a jobless drunk, a wreck out of control. Too much for other people.
When shown around the part feels excited, as he is sick of being in the way.
Protecting 13-15yo boy.

Accountability

- Connect with 13-15yo boy.

Notes

Part needing attention: Emptiness/hole felt in the stomach, linked to being disappointed by the family: it's not what I thought it was. Unsure it's worth it. Unsure it still wants to accept them after the awareness of who they truly are.

The part still wants to see them though. Like the idea to exercise its freedom of being, and of creating/holding boundaries.

Accountability

- Exercise your freedom of being and your freedom of creating/holding boundaries

- Exercise dropping the responsability of your parents emotional needs. 

On vacation

Notes

We continue the work on the parts in scarcity.
New Part - Protector: The entertainer

Role: taking away boredom, since a little child/baby.
Purpose: "boredom is really hard for me", there's negative emotions lurking in there. Also... "rest is for slackers, we got to achieve more".
Scared he would go mentally insane if he would stop this job: the emotional load would be too much.
Agrees to allow self-work, but only if there is someone present to help for when things get overwhelming... needs not to be alone.

Part who wants to self-improve: "you can get the outcomes you want only if you suffer along the way".
Role: mentoring... in a harsh and joyless way, like father did with his trainees.
Why: because when we learn through suffering we get father's aknowledgement.
This part calms down when realizing father is not around anymore to give or deny aknowledgement.

Exile tunes in, hating father deeply, feeling very disappointed in him. 
He is 5 yo, and needs to have a father. Feels very sad. His burden is in the stomach. Accepts a ritual trough fire.

Notes

Resistance to self-work cause by The Hul (new part) and the Homeless/Executive Woman. The Light, Little Boy, and Old Man are on the other side of the battlefield, working to improve.

New part - Protector: The Hulk

Role: to protect the 14yo exile with anger and physical strenght.
Purpose: to protect from others hurting me.
It's a very active part, but doens't seem tired. It's always ready to intervene. He is very fond of 14yo, and feels worried and anguished about him.
If he had more free time he would like to deeped his spirituality, but he is scared the world would eat up the 14yo if he stopped his job.
Linked to toxic beliefs: "the world is hostile", "people want to take advantage of me".
He relaxes after ritual with 14yo boy,

Exiled part: 14yo boy

He trusts me, and he is trying to unlearn things and be in a better spot. Loves being hugged.
Needs protection and guidance. Feels his hands are trapped by sticky energy. Accepts ritual through water (light helps in the unburdening).

Accountability

- Sit down to watch TV with 8yo

- Check whether the resistance to self-work diminishes: if it doesn't, then it's mostly caused by the homeless/executive woman.

Notes

The Wrecking ball: the name of the 3 parts causing the depression: Fog, Depressive Part, Mesh.
Very challening time, as these parts are feeling very scared and threatened. They just want to run away.

The 2yo enjoys listening to music, and wants to move away from the rock. Unsure where to go to though.

Accountability

- Help 2yo to find a safe place where to move to.

- Set up 1:1 if the other parts are still very scared.

N/A

Notes

Part needing attention: 13 yo teenager, needing acceptance, but feeling the other parts don't accept her

The inner child and rational part accept her. The 13yo can feel it and accept it. But still, she cannot accept herself, she doesn't feel worthy. 

The 13yo feels good when with closer friends, laughing and feeling she belongs, being herself. 

The feeling of not self-acceptance is felt in the stomach, like a pinch.

Through the ritual the burden was partially released, but now instead there is a hole.

Accountability

- Plan activities that help filling the hole: things that the 13yo loves doing.

- Make it possible to meet closer friends once in a while, to nurture this source of scarcity in the 13yo

Notes

There is a joyful part who is excited and happy about work, but also savouring life.

Accountability

Nothing came up.

Notes

We continue the work on the parts in scarcity.
Part 1- Protector: The part who wants to do things (felt around the heart)
Part 2 - Protector: The part who wants to have a daily schedule (felt in the stomach)
Part 3 - Exile: The part who feels lonely, teenager (felt around the heart)
Part 4 - Protector: The part who seeks a romantic relationship (?)
Part 5 - Protector: The part who hates people

Part 2

Name: John
Role: He wants to solve problems for me, and kick my ass to get going with it.
Purpose: Get to a better life.
Scared that if he stops the past will keep repeating.
Helps me by reminding of things that are good for me (and I know already). He needs to scream very loud to be heard though.
--> Accountability item 1

The other parts don't have anything against this plan, but also want attention. 

Part 3

Name: /
Feels lots of sadness. He needs to stop feeling lonely, and unaccepted by other people, society.
He wants more hugs, more closeness to people and human touch.

Part 4

Name: /
Role: figures out things in romantic context and how to make that work. How to interact with people and flirting. He is tired of trying to understand other people, they don't make sense anyway. Wants to stop copying other people as well.

Part 5

Name: /
Role: help me wake up and realize myself. In order to do this, he has to ignore the noise of other people, so that I don't get distracted. Also he doesn't want any BS from the past.
Purpose: to realize my capabilities
Toxic beliefs: "people are stupid"
He is scared of being dragged down if he stops his job, so he created a barrier to BS, which applies also to people. He is not persuaded that a filter would be enough.

Accountability

1 - Create a morning slot in which John can suggest ONE thing to do that day. Not more than one. And then actually do it 🙂

Notes

Less resistance this week, could finish the ACT matrix and visit the 8yo watching TV. 
Showed gratitude to The hulk and the Homeless/Executive woman for making this possible. They appreciate. 

Homeless/Executive woman

She is learning to stay more open, and is trusting this new reality is better than before.

8yo boy

He doesn't trust me because is afraid of being hurt and it's something he was taught. He is in a dark place, in front of the TV all day.
Curious about the ritual.  He feels the pain/burden between the head and the heart, as a kind of burning.

Ritual through light. He is scared it will take his heart away...
In the ritual the heart gets purified. It's all white now, and needs to settle down again. He feels better, no more burning.
Something still needs to be completed though.

Accountability

- Keep building trust with 8yo

- Connect with 6yo and nurture him. Understand why the ACT matrix feels impossible to him.

- Explore which part feels DOUBT.

Notes

The Mesh and The Fog are shown that Melanie wants to feel good and also give them some free time.
They are surprised to realize that what they are doing is not making her feel good. They feel sorry about it, but don't know how to help in a different way. Also, they REALLY want free time. They always become cooperative when they hear that.

Need attention: Stupid part

Exploration to understand which parts can support in taking important life decisions in the next few weeks. 
The girl on the swing is ready to support and help.

Explore how the Safe Place provides support and help as well, and also wisdom in dealing with difficult decisions.

Accountability

- Go daily to the Safe Place so that going into Self becomes second nature.

N/A

Notes

Exploration of inability to remember faces.

Discovered new part: Hippie

Role: forcing you to relax, but you never allow me to. Have been doing this since I was a teenager.

Notes

Mini-Session on Procrastination., felt in the body as slow motion. New parts identified (1 exile and 1 protector). Will create the Trello Board in the next few days.

Accountability

- Invite the inner child in your life more often, she wants to be a part of it.

Notes

Exploration of parts screaming and wanting to be seen and heard. Will create Trello board to keep track.

Accountability

1 - Care for few months old baby by carrying it in baby bag on the chest.

Notes and Accountability

In Trello board.  

Notes and Accountability

In Trello board.